Sometimes you should probably stay home

I was driving earlier. Maybe it was yesterday. I’m not really sure.

In any case, I was overly tired. Way too overly-tired…

I went to adjust the recline angle of my seat, which seemed innocuous enough. I sat forward and pulled the lever.

Nothing happened.

The lever might have stuck a little, or maybe I didn’t pull it hard enough. Either way, the seat did not budge.

So then, for the briefest, tiniest, most minute fraction of a second — i.e. just enough time for my heart to skip a beat and my adrenal gland to give me a shot in the chest — I was completely convinced that, rather than simply adjusting my driving recline angle, I’d actually just pulled my seat’s “EJECT!” lever.

No fucking joke. I seriously thought that — as sure as the sky is blue and the Sun is hot.

For a split second, I truly expected to be discharged violently through the roof of my car and then parachute back to terra firma.

I repeat: way too overly tired…

Sometimes you should probably just stay home. For real.

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