Monthly Archives: April 2014

A Sick Foreseeable Future

daily pillsI’ve mentioned recently (and elsewhere) that I’ve been dealing with a lot of chronic health issues. They are pretty much a void in which all of my time and energy have been getting slowly sucked away. My health has caused me to miss more work than I have in the last six months than the past six years combined. They’ve caused near paralysis with my writing and have prevented me from even leaving the house much. It feels like there is not a lot I can do but write about them as I make my stand.

I’m 32-years-old, but you’d never guess if you saw my medical chart. I’ve got an arthritic back, severe ulcerative colitis (UC), IBS, acid reflux, lactose intolerance, Celiac Disease, a tree nut allergy, allergies to most things that grow on trees (including most trees, themselves), generalized anxiety disorder, clinical depression, extreme ADD, and insomnia. The picture above is the minimum number of pills I have to take on any given day. The problem(s) lie in that the treatment of some of these issues results in complications with others.

Around the end of September of 2013, my UC began to flare up again. It progressively got worse despite the treatment I’d undergone since my diagnosis. My gastroenterologist prescribed more powerful mesalamine drugs (Lialda, Asacol, and Apriso), but each of them failed to work to expectations and came with an alarming side effect of their own: severe chest pains. The doctors had me stop taking the mesalamine because in some cases, it can cause pericarditis, a condition in which the sac-like covering around the heart (pericardium) becomes inflamed.

I’m still having some residual chest pains from the mesalamine; I need to schedule an appointment to have an EKG done to see if my heart got fucked up or not. So that’s something fun to look forward to.…

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This is Not a Punch Line

dismissive friend zone toonIt’s been a while, guys/gals! I’ve been pretty sick lately. I’ve been on some immunosuppressants for my ulcerative colitis and they’ve been making me incredibly nauseous.

However, I saw this cartoon recently and felt compelled to blog about it (the cartoon, not my UC/nausea).

It’s sort of interesting how the use and or meaning of phrases evolve(s). There’s sort of been a resurgence of women taking back the age-old phrase of “friend zone” and flipping it on its head, more or less.

At one point, it meant that a guy, often the “nice guy” of a given group (e.g.), perhaps the “hopeless romantic” or the “safe, not-at-all dangerous” guy, never got girls because he was “too nice” or something else he’d, or someone would say about him, either that guy or those others misinterpreting his inability to get a girlfriend as something external. Usually, he felt as if maybe the girls who he wanted reciprocal affection from were “stringing him along” or “only dating jerks,” and “why can’t they see they have a great thing staring them in the face with me?” Usually it meant that they were pretty much guaranteed friend status before they even opened their mouths.

I should recognize this; I was one of those guys.

Sort of.

I lamented my woes in silence, internalizing everything. When friends would ask why I was single or when acquaintances or friends of friends would ask if I was gay, I could only shrug and say, “I dunno,” or more deflecting, “I’m just keeping my options open.” More often than not, however, I’d be asking myself what was wrong with me. I didn’t complain to the girls I was interested in or to my friends. I bottled it. Because who gives a shit, right? No one likes to hear sappy stories, especially when they think they already know how they turn out. Aside from external friend zone comments, I was just the goofy guy who never dated.

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