Tag Archives: Category Thirteen

Some Good News for Grey Sparrow Press

My publisher, Grey Sparrow Press, got some good news I definitely needed to share!
[n.b. line breaks mine]:

“We have received a request for subscription from Yale University for our journal.

“I owe a large debt of gratitude to our volunteer editors [all of whom survived a year with the Sparrow] Annam Manthiram, Joseph Michael Owens, Timothy Stobierski, Amanda Casolo, Townsend Walker, whom I have worked with since the beginning, our amazing writers and I can’t list them all but surely everyone here, Sita Bhaskar, Marko Fong, David Atkinson; Joe after he retired from the Sparrow, Samartha Vashishtha, Bhisma Upreti, Marie Williams, Thomas Smith, Angela Ellis, Julie Mark Cohentruly so many more, and our artists and photographers — BIG BIG Hugs. Love to you all.

“And Professor John Roche, thank you for that fabulous Snow Jewel issue that actually was the one that determined purchases… Incredible poetry and more.

“I don’t know how UC-Berkeley had a copy, but that was why they contacted Grey Sparrow!”

–Diane Smith Fuller

Also, this news is in addition to The University of California – Berekley Rare Books & Manuscripts requesting copies of all Snow Jewel and Grey Sparrow publications (including Shenanigans!), and the University of New York – Buffalo, which is taking our journals too!!

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5 Things About the Unicorn Apocalypse

unicorn_apocalypse1)    Glitter no longer is despised by men everywhere; it is instead manufactured by the Unicorns, given extreme hypnotically stimulating properties, and quickly takes the place of cocaine. Unsavory “gentlemen” snort lines of Glitter off strippers’ asses in shady club bathrooms the world over. The whole thing is still pretty unsanitary.

2)    Skittles become the currency by which nations measure their wealth. “Taste the Rainbow,” however, becomes a global sex act phenomenon, sparking the advent of the “Rainbow Orgy.”

3)    Due to the “Taste the Rainbow” global sex act phenomenon, Leprechauns in all corners of the world are ultimately forced, by necessity, to become extremely underpaid novelty sex workers. Pots of gold only spark genuine interest if the gold coins are the gold foil-wrapped chocolate kind (or the eponymous prophylactics). Regarding the latter, the Unicorns approve of the humans’ newfound concern for sexual safety and subsequent prevention of any future population explosions.

4)    Circumcision is soon considered grotesque and, thus, becomes taboo. Men desire a corporeal aesthetic look more akin to their new rulers’ most distinguishing physical characteristic. The unicorns are amused at the humans’ sheep-like mentality but still basically/ostensibly find them pesky and irksome. Between Glitter benders and Tasting the Rainbow, Humans can’t be bothered to worry about things like governing, working, or really anything that does not include Glitter benders and Rainbow orgies.

5)    Humans, amid their narcotic-infused bacchanalia—due primarily to the nearly infinite supply of Glitter—become truly useless to Earth’s new Unicorn overlords and, as a consequence of their lacking any real raison d’être, are swiftly eliminated. (Though, it should be noted, that in their altogether tweaked-out reveling in drugs and debauchery, mankind barely even noticed.) The sudden hostile power grab by Unicorns over the now-extinct human race almost immediately sparks the great “Hundred Years Unicorn-Pegasus War,” even dividing the once formidable union between Care Bears and My Little Ponies. Narwhals and Swordfish take the fight of one-horned creatures to the sea.

  1. The resulting war of Rainbows, Glitter, and Blood reduces the planet to rubble and among mammals, only the three-toed sloth survives to inherit the earth (who survived simply because they moved too slowly to join the conflict on either side. Their cries of victory, “The giant carnivorous Megatherium will rise again!” takes an entire millennia to disseminate among their kind.
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So Many Projects, So Little Time…

Weird clock DaliHow do I get myself into these things?

I can’t say no; that’s where the problems start.

It’s OK, I suppose. I’d rather be busy than bored, but by some recent tabulations, I’m averaging about 90 hrs. of work each week.

If something’s gotta give, then sleep is that something.

It’s O-K, but just barely.

Teaching four classes, working at the college’s writing center, training CPR & Nonviolent Crisis Intervention (NCI) classes, writing grants and proposals (plus freelance editing etc.) — it sort of takes a toll on one’s “free time.”

Free time. Now there’s a novel concept. . .

Speaking of novel, time spent actually writing novel(s) and stories has really suffered. I mean, I want to write. I can even [occasionally] magick some time out of thin air that I could use to write. However, by the time any of this happens, my brain feels like it’s been submerged in a jar of molasses. Or maybe sorghum. I dunno, something dark and viscous.

I was whinging (ask a Canadian) the other night on Twitter about this predicament, saying something to the effect of “Having trouble just thinking about writing #LongDays…” and Justin Daugherty offered some simple advice but advice that was probably spot on nonetheless: “Do it. Writing is the most important thing.”

Fuck yeah it is!

I got a little bit scribbled into a notebook but it was better than nothing. It was better than putting it off until tomorrow and tomorrow became tomorrow became next week etc. &c.

Writing: Make like Nike and just do it!

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Happy New Book Day!

Books March-27-2013

Today’s been a really kickass book day!

First, a surprise arrived from my good friend David S. Atkinson (who’s easily the coolest guy I know) in the form of the rare(ish) white version of Adam Levin‘s THE INSTRUCTIONS (one of my two favorite books of all time)!!

Also, my ARC of Benjamin Percy‘s RED MOON showed up, ready for a through reading, skinning, analysis, drying/tanning, mounting and, ultimately, reviewing!!

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My Pet Serial Killer: Authors Abducted!

mypetserialkiller

Local authors are missing; many more are now seeking placement in WitSec.

Another mysterious message, the second after yesterday’s nebulous ransom note, was discovered at 3:14 a.m. Central Standard Time at the Cat13 offices that read simply: “PLEASE HELP!”

However, the new handwriting sample differs from that appearing on the back of yesterday’s ransom note. This time, the frantic word’s were hastily painted directly on the brick facade of the Cat13 HQ, downtown.

Omaha Police are working together with Federal agents, but few leads reportedly exist. Two expert graphologist teams are stumped.

Legendary profiler and criminologist, Michael J. Seidlinger, arrived moments ago to create a composite description of the suspect:

Alias/Known As: “The Main Plot Marauder”

Real name: Joseph Michael Owens

Number of victims: 37

Description:

~Wrote short stories published in local newspapers and journals.
~Targeted interested parties responding to published fiction; proceeded to write addendums to effective fiction, often with interested parties enticed into becoming secondary characters in his fiction.
~Continued communication with interested parties for up to 6 months prior to first incursion; promised immortality in the form of his characters.
~Targeted up to 5 victims at any given time; met with victims at least twice a month, often with minor lacerations and damage to victim’s body, all in line with fiction originally written.
~Progressed over 6-12 month duration until victim was rendered weak and incapacitated based on death of fictional character(s) of source material found in local newspapers and journals.
~Completed fiction/target victim by rendering victim weak and vulnerable, lured victim to a secluded location for subsequent dispatch.
~Victims’ bodies never found; only fingers and eyes found in killer’s ice-locker.

Be Mine

“So no matter what, the media’s going to make the victim as innocent as can be, no matter what the victim might have done, there’ll be this disconnection from reality and fiction when it comes to serial murder so it doesn’t really mean that much to answer why, and I’m really trying not to answer the question why because no matter how hard I try I’m not going to be saying what you want me to say because I don’t really know what you want. I don’t know the answer.”

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C@T13 R@N$0M3!! [and only a note left behind…]

Ransom Note

The note, written on the back of this ransom (in tense, narrow handwriting that favors a “left of upright slant”), says that it may or may not be pertinent to something — or someone(s) — missing and was only signed, “MPSK”…

We’re told we should know more tomorrow once graphologists can analyze the penmanship further.

Early tomorrow…

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Read This: xTx’s ‘Billie the Bull’

billie-the-bullLooking for something killer to read? Do you like your books short and punchy? Do you have a pulse? If you answered yes to any of these, odds are you will like Billie the Bull by xTx, now available from MudLuscious Press imprint, Nephew.

I reviewed the book over at Sundog Lit:

Rarely does a book capture what it means to be perfect—or as close to perfect as possible—simply because there are so many variables at play. It doesn’t necessarily matter whether or not the book is long or short, whether it is an epic or a chapbook. Length is all but arbitrary in this context because it takes an incredible amount of skill to hold it all together, to give the reader the impression the book might actually burst at the spine, or that the words might careen off the pages like a train derailed. It’s this sense of imminent catastrophe that ignites a glowing ember to raging inferno, which then stokes the fires in the boiler that propels the work forward…

Hit the jump above to read more. Needless to say, I loved it!

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Tick-tock… New things are coming up…

AWP 2013 starts this week, so expect some news/updates from Boston.

Oddly enough, as far as panels etc. go, the event I’m looking forward to most is a reading by the venerable Samuel R. Delaney.

I could try to explain why, but I think Tammy Sayler does a really good job on her blog: “Literary fiction or science fiction? Top 5 Inspirations For Why I Write Science Fiction

Lots of other new writing/literary things are on the horizon as well, my friends. Lots.

For now, enjoy The Clock of the Long Now.

Stay tuned!

Long Now Clock

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2 Poems for the Apocalypse

I did a reading from the InDigest Magazine Apocalypse Bunker, special for today. You all probably don’t have Internet by now; blame the alien mayan death star only visible from the opposite side of the planet from which you currently sit. Anywhoozle, here are 2 poems!!

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