Tag Archives: trivializing issues

This is Not a Punch Line

dismissive friend zone toonIt’s been a while, guys/gals! I’ve been pretty sick lately. I’ve been on some immunosuppressants for my ulcerative colitis and they’ve been making me incredibly nauseous.

However, I saw this cartoon recently and felt compelled to blog about it (the cartoon, not my UC/nausea).

It’s sort of interesting how the use and or meaning of phrases evolve(s). There’s sort of been a resurgence of women taking back the age-old phrase of “friend zone” and flipping it on its head, more or less.

At one point, it meant that a guy, often the “nice guy” of a given group (e.g.), perhaps the “hopeless romantic” or the “safe, not-at-all dangerous” guy, never got girls because he was “too nice” or something else he’d, or someone would say about him, either that guy or those others misinterpreting his inability to get a girlfriend as something external. Usually, he felt as if maybe the girls who he wanted reciprocal affection from were “stringing him along” or “only dating jerks,” and “why can’t they see they have a great thing staring them in the face with me?” Usually it meant that they were pretty much guaranteed friend status before they even opened their mouths.

I should recognize this; I was one of those guys.

Sort of.

I lamented my woes in silence, internalizing everything. When friends would ask why I was single or when acquaintances or friends of friends would ask if I was gay, I could only shrug and say, “I dunno,” or more deflecting, “I’m just keeping my options open.” More often than not, however, I’d be asking myself what was wrong with me. I didn’t complain to the girls I was interested in or to my friends. I bottled it. Because who gives a shit, right? No one likes to hear sappy stories, especially when they think they already know how they turn out. Aside from external friend zone comments, I was just the goofy guy who never dated.

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